


Kittenface

by cmere



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmere/pseuds/cmere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony helps Gob adopt a kitten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kittenface

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks to reallycorking for more handholding, betaing, and general awesomeness and support!
> 
> There is an illustration to go with the story--don't be afraid to click the link! By Anonymous.

“Tony, I need you to come over right now. It’s urgent. And very important. And an emergency. And this is Gob. Bye.”

Gob threw his phone onto the couch in frustration. Not knowing what to do with his hands, he placed them on his hips and narrowed his eyes, unable to stop himself from glaring a little.

The kitten he was glaring at meowed innocently, staring straight at him with wide, intimidated, bright blue eyes, and it made him even angrier. The animal was mostly a light gray color, but a significantly darker patch under its nose caused it to look like it had an unfortunate type of mustache.

The kitten had appeared on the patio not five minutes earlier, while Gob was out back tanning in his favorite red speedo and enjoying a Mike’s hard cranberry lemonade. It rubbed itself all over the legs of Gob’s chaise lounge, meowing and trilling until Gob could take it no more and got up to go inside. To his dismay, it followed him, darting in when he opened the sliding glass door. Then it had flopped down in the middle of the floor, stretching out on its back, making itself right at home.

Gob didn’t know what to do with a kitten. He kept animals, sure. He had enough rabbits, doves, and mice to fill a freezer. He had always toyed with the idea of using large feral cats in his illusions, although so far certain restrictions in the state of California had prevented him from trying. Gob knew how to take care of an animal. That wasn’t the point. The point was that those were all for business, and this cat clearly had no business in his act. It just wanted to come in and rub itself all over his chair and his floor and eat all his food and drink all his cranberry lemonade. 

The cat trilled again. Did cats always do that? Gob thought the sound cats were supposed to make was _meow_ , although he had learned that when he was in kindergarten so maybe the science had advanced in the last fo—thirty years.

The front door burst open with a bang, shattering the privacy window it framed.

“Gob? Gob! Where are you? I’m here!” Tony yelled hoarsely, panting.

“I’m right here, Tony. There’s no need to yell,” Gob said, affronted.

“What’s wrong? What’s the emergency? Are you hurt?” Tony asked, the concern clear on his face as he rushed over.

“Oh, no! I’m fine. Overreacting a little, don’t you think?” Gob said, laughing. “No, it’s just…this cat. I was out back tanning and it followed me in, and now I don’t know what to do with it. It’s so loud and clearly untrained, I could never use it in an illusion.”

“You left me a message saying there was an urgent emergency because a kitten followed you inside?” Tony said incredulously.

“Pfft. Exaggerate much?” Gob said. “I just wanted to get some friendly advice. I would put it back outside, but…” Gob trailed off, staring at the kitten. It stared back at him, like it knew what he was thinking. Did it know? Did it know he wanted to abandon it outside, deprive it of cranberry lemonade and leave it to be eaten by wolves?

“Why don’t you keep it?” Tony suggested.

“I—what would I do with a cat?” Gob said. “I’m so busy. I’m barely home. You know how it is. I’m always out on dates and performing and stuff.”

Gob and Tony had been seeing each other for a few weeks, but recently Gob had become overwhelmed by the intensity of his feelings for Tony. He had decided to try to slow it down for his own sanity, and had done so by loudly bragging that he was dating several other people, mostly women but some men, in an effort to make Tony back off a little. The plan backfired, as Tony appeared to be legitimately dating several other people, including stupid blonde Sally Sitwell and Rollo, head of the Magician’s Alliance. Suddenly, he was almost always too busy to see Gob.

“Do cats need someone to be home all the time?” Tony said. He crossed the room to where the cat was sitting and knelt down, scratching it behind the ears. The cat pressed its face up into Tony’s hand.

“Wow,” Gob breathed. “You’re like…the cat whisperer.”

“Gob, have you ever met a cat before?” 

“I don’t think so,” Gob said, backing up until he ran into the kitchen barstool.

“Maybe we should set out some water or milk for it,” Tony suggested. 

“We don’t have any milk,” Gob said. “What about a Mike’s?” Tony laughed. He crossed the room into the kitchen and started opening and closing the mostly empty cupboards.

“I think we should stick with water,” he said, finally finding a single small dish in the oven storage drawer and filling it with water from the tap. He brought it back over to the kitten, who still had not moved. Gob was taken aback.

“Cats don’t like cranberry lemonade?” he said. Everything he thought he knew about this cat was a lie.

Tony laughed again. “When we don’t see each other for a while, I forget how funny you are,” he said, stepping back until he was standing next to Gob. Their arms brushed together as they stared down at the kitten.

“It has been awhile, hasn’t it?” Gob said, taking the opportunity to move a little closer to Tony still. He was suddenly conscious of the fact that he was in a speedo, all oiled up, whereas Tony was dressed pretty nicely, in a white suit with a deep purple button-down, open at the neck. The kitten took one more suspicious look at them and then eagerly started slurping up the water.

“Look at that,” Tony said. “She was thirsty.”

“How do you know it’s a she?” Gob said.

“Just a feeling,” Tony said. “What should we name her?”

“Name her?”

“You are going to keep her, right?”

“I—I don’t know,” Gob stammered. “I’m not very good with animals. Most of the animals for my act end up dead. If I don’t know where the kitten came from, I won’t know where to return it to. When it…you know.”

“I think you two will be just fine,” Tony said, and then slipped his hand into Gob’s, twining their fingers together.

Gob wasn’t so sure, but he did like the feeling of Tony’s hand in his. Maybe the cat would be okay, too.

\--

The next morning, Gob awoke feeling relaxed with a very naked Tony Wonder in bed with him. He still had the natural instinct to reach for a forget-me-now, but they had talked about that early on and made a pact to stop taking them while they were seeing each other. Still…Tony wouldn’t have to know—

“Meow!” The kitten blinked up at Gob sleepily from the foot of the bed. Gob yelped.

“Where the fuck did that thing come from!” he shouted, skidding backwards until he was huddled all the way up against the headboard. The cat stood up quickly, also backing away towards the foot of the bed. Gob was annoyed that it looked so graceful doing essentially the same thing he knew he had looked like a spaz doing.

“Gob, you rescued her yesterday. Remember?” Tony said, yawning and stretching his hands over his head. His eyes narrowed. “Or did you—”

“Yes, yes, I remember now,” Gob interrupted, still unnerved by the creature’s presence in the bed where he and Tony had made love only hours earlier. Wasn’t that perverted? Was he going to end up on To Entrap a Local Predator? His eyes darted up to the ceiling where the hidden cameras were still located. “It wasn’t there while we were…you know. Right?”

“No, I think she must have come in while we were sleeping,” Tony said, sitting up and reaching an arm out towards it. The kitten trilled, settling in comfortably again, just out of reach.

“Why does it make that noise?” Gob asked. “Does that mean it’s unhappy?”

“It’s just a noise cats make. I don’t think it means anything,” Tony said. He reached a little further and then gave up with a sigh when the kitten stayed contentedly in its spot. He scooted back until he was snuggled up against Gob and looped his arms around him. “We should probably go buy her some food today, though.”

“Could you help me with that?” Gob said. “I mean—not that I need help. If you’re busy or whatever. I’m sure I could figure it out on my own.”

“I’d love to help,” Tony said, looking up at Gob from somewhere close to his shoulder. Tony really was adorably short. Gob liked that about him. It made him feel big, strong, and protective. He settled an arm around Tony’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to his head.

“Thanks,” Gob murmured. “And thanks for coming over yesterday. I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I hope I didn’t ruin any of your plans—you were dressed so nicely!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Tony said. “I’m always here if you need me.” 

Warmth spread through Gob’s chest.

\--

Tony drove them to Petco, and Gob took advantage of the time in the car to call Michael.

“Michael, it’s Gob,” he said. “I need you to get someone in to replace the window in the front door of the model home. It’s urgent. We have it covered with plastic wrap right now, but my kitten could still try to escape.” He grinned at Tony when he said _my kitten_. Tony smiled back.

“You broke the window again?” Michael said. “Wait, you got a _kitten_?”

“No and yes,” Gob replied. “Tony broke the window, but it really wasn’t his fault. That house is a piece of shit. Try to get some higher quality materials this time or you’ll just have to keep paying for it.”

“Gob, how are you going to take care of a kitten? You can barely take care of yourself. Also, it’s _your_ home now, so I’m going to send the bill to you.”

“That’s not true,” Gob said angrily, choosing to ignore the second part of what Michael said. “I’m on my way to the store right now for all the supplies. You’ll see.”

“Why was Tony Wonder over there?” Michael said.

“I’m losing signal! Gotta go!” Gob said and hung up. “My brother is such an asshole,” he added to Tony.

“Is he getting someone to come?” Tony asked, pulling into the parking lot.

“He better,” Gob said, narrowing his eyes.

They entered the store together, grabbing a cart and heading to the cat section. Gob was immediately distracted by all the fun toys. They had feathers! And fake little mice! “Look, this one has a bell!” Gob said gleefully, flicking it back and forth.

“Let’s get it!” Tony was so encouraging. That was another thing Gob liked about him.

They spent ten minutes getting advice from the store clerk on the best kind of cat food. “It’s best if you can make your own,” the dreadlocked, heavily pierced young woman concluded. “But this is the best of the organic brands. Don’t even think about buying some generic Meow Mix or anything. That shit is full of chemicals and it will really fuck your cat up.”

“Thank you so much,” Gob said, wide-eyed, placing the $40 bag in the cart.

“You should really get a cat tree,” Tony said. “Don’t they look fun?”

“They do!” Gob said excitedly. “Let’s get the tallest one!”

“That way you’ll have it,” Tony said.

“Yeah! That way we’ll have it!”

By the time they reached the register, the cart was full of toys, dry and wet organic all-natural food, treats, catnip, a scratching post, a self-cleaning litter box, and of course, the tallest cat tree, which included dangly things as well as numerous holes, tunnels, and platforms. The cashier was a middle-aged woman with short, spiky blonde hair.

“First cat?” she said as she began ringing up the purchases.

“Is it that obvious?” Gob said, glancing at Tony.

“Just a little,” she replied. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you boys will do a great job as parents.”

“Oh, it’s his cat,” Tony said. “I’m just here to help out.”

“Right,” she said. Gob laughed nervously. “What’s her name?”

“Kitten—” Tony said at the same time Gob said, “Face.”

“Kittenface,” Gob said. “That’s right.”

The total came to $561.54. Before Gob could even reach for his wallet, Tony was swiping his own credit card in the machine.

“Tony! You don’t have to do that!” Gob said, scrabbling at Tony’s hands to try and make him stop.

“Well, it’s my fault you decided to keep her. I might as well help get you started,” Tony said, signing the machine with a flourish.

“But—but—” Gob was overwhelmed by the gesture. Nobody had ever spent that kind of money on him before. Tony was so thoughtful.

“It’s my pleasure,” Tony insisted, lifting the bags back into the cart.

“You boys have a lovely day,” the cashier said with a knowing smile.

After they loaded up the trunk and returned the cart, Gob stopped Tony from getting in the car to give him a hug.

“Seriously,” Gob said, one hand cradling the back of Tony’s head. “Thank you.”

“Seriously,” Tony said. “You’re welcome…as surely as there’s a mouse behind your ear!”

With that, Tony did indeed produce a live, white mouse from behind Gob’s ear, causing Gob to explode with delighted laughter.

“How did you—did you steal that mouse from the store?” Gob said, breathless.

“No, I paid for it,” Tony said with a smile, giving Gob a pat on the ass and slipping the mouse into his pocket. “It’s a gift for your Micellaneous act. Now let’s get home to Kittenface.”

\--

“Why doesn’t she like me?” Gob complained that night, after several attempts to get closer the kitten, only to have her dart away. “She only likes you. And she hasn’t even touched the toys. Or slept in the bed! I mean, that’s a plush bed! She’s been sleeping all day! Come on!”

“Give her time,” Tony said as the kitten hopped up on the back of the couch and then settled in next to his head. He reached up to pet her. “Cats only come to you when you don’t want to give them attention. It’s just like with guys. You have to give her space, and then she’ll be begging for it.”

“I don’t know any guys that operate like that, but okay,” Gob said. He was frustrated. “Can I get you some more wine?”

“Please,” Tony said, holding up his glass. Gob filled it, along with his own, and took a sip. 

“We’re not really going to call her Kittenface, are we? More like Hitlerface,” Gob said. “I mean, because of her mustache.”

“It’s up to you,” Tony said. “I think Kittenface is cute. And we came up with it together. But she’s your cat.”

Gob had already started thinking of her as _their_ cat. Then he remembered Tony didn’t live with him. In fact, this was the most time Tony and Gob had ever spent together consecutively. What was Gob going to do with the cat when Tony went home?

“You’re not going home tonight, are you?” he blurted out. Tony laughed.

“Why, are you hoping to get lucky or something?”

“No—I mean—well, yes. But also, once you leave, the risk of Kittenface dying goes up by, like, five thousand percent.”

“Kittenface is not going to die,” Tony said. “Maybe I _should_ leave to give you two some time to get acquainted. Alone.” There was a pause. Gob felt a panic rising within him as he started to think that maybe Tony really _did_ want to leave but Gob was basically trapping him there and being clingy and pathetic and—

“You can leave if you want to,” Gob said in a rush after just long enough of a silence to make it awkward. He cursed himself internally. Everything had been going so well, and now here he was, screwing it up.

“Do you want me to?” Tony was looking him right in the eye. Gob wanted to look away but didn’t.

“No,” he said.

“Same,” Tony said, and smiled as he finally glanced down. Gob took a large gulp of wine.

The kitten suddenly got up, walked across the back of the couch, and then climbed down over Gob’s shoulder into his lap. She lay down there, purring. Gob couldn’t stop himself from giggling excitedly and he stroked her head as softly as he could, so as not to bother her.

“See?” Tony said quietly. “She does like you.” Gob looked up and found Tony’s eyes locked on him again. Tony moved closer to him on the couch until their thighs were touching. Then he put his hand on the back of Gob’s neck and kissed him.

\--

After four weeks, Gob and Tony had established a new routine. They woke up, made breakfast, and fed Kittenface. Then they went to work—practicing illusions, thinking up new ideas, or training the cat. The training hadn’t been very successful, but she did seem to enjoy walking around the backyard on the tiny leash Tony had brought home and surprised Gob with. She had even tried to scale the fence—it was so cute! Tony had recorded the whole thing on his phone.

Tony had gone back to his house a couple times since the kitten arrived, but it was only to get clothes and what he needed for his performances, as well as a large Tony Wonder painting to hang prominently in the living room. He was actually performing magic on a regular basis to great success, which made Gob jealous. However, Gob was so happy to watch him perform that it was pretty easy to squash those feelings most of the time. The few times it wasn’t easy, he’d gotten Tony to have sex with him instead of thinking about it, and that took his mind off all the unpleasantness.

In the evenings, if Tony wasn’t performing, they would snuggle up on the couch with Kittenface and a bottle of red wine, watching a movie or even just talking. Gob was startled to find that he could spend so much time with Tony and yet they still had so many things to talk about. Then they would have sex, or if they’d already had sex earlier that day maybe they’d just make out. Sometimes they even fell asleep, piled on top of each other with Kittenface wedged somewhere between them.

“Are we—boyfriends?” Gob asked one afternoon. He and Tony had been spending so much time together, he didn’t think it was possible for Tony to still be seeing other people, but he wanted to be sure.

“Do you want to be boyfriends?” Tony said. 

“Do _you_ want to be boyfriends?” Gob replied. They stared at each other for a moment. “I have an idea,” Gob said. “On the count of three, let’s answer whether we want to be boyfriends at the same time. That way no one has to go first.”

“Sounds good,” Tony agreed. “One…two…three!”

Neither of them said anything.

“It only works if we both participate,” Gob said, annoyed.

“I have another idea,” Tony said. “Why don’t we write down if we want to be boyfriends separately, and then we can exchange papers and see.”

“Good idea!” Gob said. He found some loose leaf paper and two pens in a drawer. The house had become much better stocked with everyday necessities since Tony had started staying there.

The two sat at opposite ends of the table, covering their papers with their hands as they wrote. Then they both folded the papers several times and held them out to be exchanged.

“One…two…three!” Tony said and they simultaneously changed hands. Gob eagerly opened his. Tony had drawn a picture of Kittenface.

“You drew a picture of the cat,” Gob said.

“Same,” Tony said, holding up Gob’s paper, [which also displayed a crude drawing of Kittenface](http://oi40.tinypic.com/2m5jg1y.jpg).

“Oh,” Gob said. “Well, I liked my idea better.”

Tony glared at him. Gob smiled innocently.

“I don’t want to be boyfriends,” Tony said suddenly, and Gob’s heart dropped to the floor. Had he gone too far? “I want you to be my partner. We’re basically living together. It feels like calling you my boyfriend isn’t enough.”

“Your…partner?” Gob repeated stupidly, still trying to process what Tony had just said. Had he actually said boyfriend _wasn’t enough_?

“Yeah, and I don’t care if it freaks you out or if I’m going too far by saying that,” Tony continued. “We can talk about everything else, I don’t know why we can’t talk about our relationship. I love living here with you, I love doing stupid shit with Kittenface with you, I love when you come see my magic shows. Gob, I love you.”

Tony exhaled loudly. Gob inhaled at the same time.

“I love you, too,” he said, the words feeling foreign and robotic in his mouth. Immediately after, he was terrified he had said it wrong, or said the wrong words, or just generally fucked up this perfect moment by being the stupid, useless failure he always was.

Then Tony’s face broke out into a huge smile, and Gob’s heart squeezed in his chest.

“Same,” Tony said.

“Same,” Gob repeated.

Tony strode towards him but Kittenface got underfoot and he tripped, catching himself on the dining room chair. Gob met him halfway and picked her up, laughing. Tony’s arms wrapped around them both.

“So you’re okay with me calling you my partner?” Tony said, his thumb running up Gob’s spine.

“If you’re okay with me calling you my partner,” Gob said. His cheeks hurt from smiling.

“And Hitlerface is part of the family, too,” Tony said, nuzzling her nose. She meowed loudly, clearly annoyed at being held against her will.

“And we’re in love,” Gob said, suddenly dropping the cat when she scratched long, angry red marks down his neck. She always ended up on all fours.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “We are.”


End file.
